Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
