You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
