I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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