I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He better not be in your backpack
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
