if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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