# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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