there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
