dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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