No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
