Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
