i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
