I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
