TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
