people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
