handjob tips. give me some.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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