Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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