He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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