I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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