Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
