He asked to "fluff my boner.."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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