So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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