This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
