If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
