Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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