there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
