i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
