This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
