I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
third nipple confirmed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
