I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
