Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
