Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
