don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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