The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
