Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
