I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
