Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
