I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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