Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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