I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
