quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
