Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
