yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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