girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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