i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
