Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
