pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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