"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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