I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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