I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
