i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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