Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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